An Introduction
The name of this blog is the German text for "Valley of the Shadow," as inspired by a verse in Psalm 23 from the Bible. This blog was also inspired by the painting "The Valley of the Shadow" from a series of paintings by my friend Michal Tkachenko.
On my birthday, I had a chance to see Michal's installation of her series based on the Psalms at the Zack Gallery in Vancouver, after which we had the chance to fellowship and pray together over borscht and other Mediterranean delights. The above media is from her show at the Zack Gallery with music tied to Psalm 23 and "No Longer Slaves" by Bethel Music . You can read more about her series here.
Psalm 23 has played a vital role in my life since childhood. It was the first piece of scripture I memorized and the scripture was used as the liturgical text when I was baptized via full immersion. Music tied to the passage has always spoken to me. The Hymn "The Lord is my Shepherd" was played at both the funerals of my maternal Opa and my paternal Grandfather.
On July 26, 2025, my life shifted unexpectedly when I hydroplaned while exiting the Trans Canada Highway/ on a wet curve in Lunenburg County, Nova Scotia (Nova Scotia). My vehicle rolled and flipped into a valley/ravine of trees to the right of me. Though it was a single-vehicle accident, the impact was significant: I struck the right side of my forehead, lost consciousness, and experienced symptoms that would evolve into a months-long medical journey. On that night, I did not receive paramedic care, RCMP assessment, or imaging, due to ER closures and a lack of personal in Nova Scotia.
The lack of medical care after the accident, shaped how my symptoms unfolded and how long it took to understand the full extent of my injuries. After the accident, a physiotherapy assessment identified soft-tissue injuries — including Whiplash Associated Disorder — as well as symptoms suggestive of concussion. At that time, intense eye pain and redness in the right sclera made it hard even to determine which symptoms came from the impact itself and which stemmed from neurological changes. My physiotherapist recommended urgent follow-up for possible imaging to rule out cervical or facial fractures, given the mechanism of injury and limited range of motion. As there are a lack of optometrists or optalmologists in Nova Scotia, who work at hospitals tied to Lunenburg County, I did not receive care right away.
In the first weeks, the foundational symptoms were clear: headaches radiating from behind the right orbit, photophobia, difficulty with screens, and early signs of ocular strain. Driving more than ten minutes would trigger symptoms, and even regular reading became difficult.
When I went back to view the scene of the accident, I realized that the road on which my SUV hydroplaned was similar to the text "he leads me beside quiet waters...the darkest valley" from Psalm 23. On the left of the road were the waters of Fancy Lake, and on the right was the valley/canyon my SUV landed in. In the valley, I found various parts of other cars, which made me think that the road on which I hydroplaned had also been an issue to the other drivers whose cars also had landed in that valley.3Even though I walk
By early September, persistent symptoms confirmed that recovery would not follow the typical trajectory. Imaging was finally ordered (with results still pending at that time), and an optometrist confirmed the optic nerve appeared undamaged, though functional vision challenges were evident.
Physiotherapy shifted toward concussion management education: gradual re-exposure to screen time, vestibular-ocular exercises, and the possibility of a six-month or longer recovery window. Even then, many symptoms were still difficult to classify as strictly neurological, ocular, or musculoskeletal.
By October, my symptoms not only persisted — they had worsened. I began experiencing cognitive processing delays, memory lapses, and significant difficulty coordinating what my eyes saw with how my brain reacted. My cognitive issues were noticed by friends, family, and fellow church congregants. In one instance, this delay caused a near-collision while shoulder checking.
These changes raised red flags for post-concussion syndrome (PCS), a condition where concussion symptoms last far beyond the expected healing period. My physiotherapist also noted the possibility of PTSD given the nature of the vehicle rollover and the heightened anxiety I felt while driving. Recommendations now included: Referral to a neurologist, Referral to a neuro-ophthalmologist, Access to a specialized multidisciplinary concussion clinic, Psychological counselling for trauma-related symptoms.
The next stage involved referrals — particularly to neuro-ophthalmology, a crucial specialty for patients whose concussion symptoms are dominated by visual strain, photophobia, and delayed visual processing.
The referral from an OD was not detail-oriented enough, and therefore the Dalhousie neuro-ophthalmology service clarified that due to the limited number of specialists in Atlantic Canada, the approximate wait time could be up to 12–18 months. Patients with urgent deterioration could be escalated, but overall the system remains severely backlogged.
This long wait dramatically shaped my care planning — especially because my work in Ministry/Medicine requires screen use, sustained concentration, and visual-cognitive integration that my symptoms continue to limit.
By the end of October, it was clear that the province of Nova Scotia didn't have the resources to treat me. As the wait times for specialists were 2-3 years, the only option was to seek medical care elsewhere. Germany was not an option— as federal and provincial insurance law requires treatment to be completed in Canada. My family doctor/GP in British Columbia, as well as the physiotherapist in Nova Scotia, suggested flying to BC for further treatment and assessment. With the help of my neighbours and members of various Baptist churches in Nova Scotia, I was put on a plane at the beginning of November to BC to seek medical treatment in BC.
As I continue to follow the guidance of the good shepherd and the holy spirit, I am reminded of my connection to being a part of the shepherd's flock. I gave my life to the Lord, after hearing the parable of the lost sheep at the age of six. The first music I performed at various baptists churches in British Columbia and Nova Scotia were selections from JS Bach's Hunt Cantata, such as "Sheep may safely graze". On the last Sunday performing music in Nova Scotia, I played the Hymn "Saviour like a shepherd lead us." I look forward to seeing where my Shepherd leads me, and am grateful to the others in his flock who lift me up, pray of me, and support me during this journey though the Valley of the Shadow.
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