Margins for Rest and Restoral

Michal Tkachenko, The Valley of the Shadow 1, oil on canvas, 48”x 36”, 2025. Photo provided by Michal.

Last year I received a message wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. The message reminded me to make margins for rest and restorative care. The flesh in me was furious to receive a message like this, as I interpreted the message the wrong way. In that moment I allowed the flesh in me, my ego, my pride (1 John 2:16) to speak instead of listening to the wishes of a fellow Brother/Doctor in Christ. I chose to think that my credentials of post-doctoral training, etc., allowed me to not listen, to see if the Spirit was using him to speak to me (Ephesians 4:15-16). Years ago I created the R³ Method. This was a method to remind my patients to practice, rest, restorative care, and rejuvenation. However, I myself am guilty of not using the method I invented to practice self-care.

I have often stated that “Doctors are their worst patients.” I have often seen many of my colleagues who work in medicine, not take care of their bodies with what they eat, etc. On December 18, on my way to play a service related to grief and sadness at Christmas, I so clearly heard the Spirit informing me that I myself was guilty of being a "worse" patient. For years, I have put my patients and ministry above my own health. I have sacrificed my own family life to minister to others than minister to my own relatives.

 Psalm 23 doesn’t shame weakness; it names a Shepherd who leads, restores, and sets a pace that the anxious body can actually survive, just like that faithful July 26, where the Lord didn't allow me to enter the Valley of Death but only that of Darkness. For those of us trained to push through pain, margins feel like lost time, but it is our master Physician's way of making us obey him. Green pastures and still waters are not luxuries; they are the places where restoration begins.

My recent vision and concussion assessment revealed post-trauma vision syndrome with binocular dysfunction and convergence insufficiency. This means my eyes aren’t coordinating well, especially for reading and screen work. This can cause eyestrain, headaches, blurred/double vision, nausea/vertigo, and reduced concentration. The King–Devick test showed significant convergence strain and slowed saccadic performance, indicating difficulty turning inward for close work. This can cause strain, blur, or headaches when reading or using screens. The King–Devick test is a quick screening test that checks how well the eyes make rapid jumps from number to number (used in reading) and how well the brain keeps attention steady while the eyes move. 

The song below keeps pulling me back to the Shepherd’s steady presence—not just as a promise for later, but as companionship right in the middle of the valley. When my pace outruns my limits, this song makes “margins for rest and renewal” feel less like a medical treatment plan and more like trust: I can slow down because I’m not carrying the weight alone. May its prayerful atmosphere help us release self-reliance, receive restoration, and walk forward with a serene confidence shaped by Psalm 23.

Today, I offer the apology below to ask for forgiveness for not making margins for rest and restoration. I hope you will offer me forgiveness for the hurt/pain I have caused.